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Feel, Reflect, then Goal Set.

Yes, I am writing something on goals. I know I am a couple days late.

Over the past couple of days, I have seen people highlight their 2018 successes. I love it and all the positivity. Honestly, it lights a fire in me. Inspires me. Reflection is a powerful tool, and I do believe it is where we should start when creating goals.

Back to the highlights. I thought it was so cool that I too thought too of posting all the good things that happened in 2018. There were amazing things like choosing to put my knowledge into practice, opening a gym, nurturing some of the most important relationships of my life, and starting what I believe will be some the most beautiful relationship that I might ever have in my life. But here is the second part. I made many mistakes and felt the worse pain and hurt that I have ever experienced in my life. The internal battle that I was having was do I be real and share the hurt or should I just stay positive and chose to ignore what happened?

The idea of forced positivity had been a real struggle for me in the past. For me, it felt so insincere, not me, and would lead to a bigger breakdown eventually.  Within the past couple of years, there has been a push to be overly positive all the time. There is a thought that if you just turn everything to positive, life will work just how you want it. All rainbows, butterflies, and delicious low carb and fat cake.

I believe this is bull. I think for real growth to happen, you have to take a step back and look at the situation for its facts. Evaluate. Plan. Enjoy and trust the process all over again.

So instead of ignoring the lows of the year, take them head-on. If they hurt. Let them hurt. Then evaluate what happened and why it happened. From there, figure out what you need to implement or maybe omit to create an outcome change. Maybe it is finding an accountability buddy or coach, scheduling out your week ahead of time, meal prepping, spending more time doing new things, joining a book club, switching out your alcohol for kombucha. Make a plan to not the same way.

If your year was like mine, do not be discouraged. Be excited because the hard time and mistake will lead to an even bigger success if you take the time now to acknowledge them, feel them, and learn from them.

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